middle child

I just love this picture of Gray. At 3 1/2, he is by far my toughest to photograph. He is wild and on-the-go. He has far bigger and better things to do than have his mom take his picture. So I sneak in a few here and there.

Sometimes my heart hurts for my middle guy. He is painfully shy everywhere but home. He doesn't talk at preschool, despite going five mornings a week since September. (And he went two days a week last year, too.) When he gets in the car after I pick him up from school, he chatters non-stop until we get home about all of the kids in his class, what they had for snack, the status of the slide (if it was wet or not that day), and if he went to Lunch Bunch. He LOVES preschool. I adore his teachers.... they are wonderful and warm and caring women who are genuinely concerned about why he isn't speaking in school. It is so hard for me as the mom... he talks (and screams) constantly at home, and while he isn't the early and articulate talker that Miller was, he definitely gets his point across. He talks... he is just choosy about when and where he does it.

He has a late birthday (Aug. 28th) and I worry about whether or not he'll be ready for kindergarten in 2007. I blame myself a lot... there are not enough hours in the day to work full-time for myself and be a full-time mommy to my kids. I'm doing my best, but I'm running myself ragged at the same time. I wish I knew all the answers and could snap my fingers and he would be a social butterfly. I never knew that being a mom would come with such a gamut of emotions and issues. I just want him to fit in. For everyone to know the real him, the boy with the dimple that only comes out when he is up to something, the boy that cuddles with me in the mornings and calls me "mama."