too busy for life
Sometimes I wonder just how much I'm missing out on by having the job that I do. Stuff with the kids, like volunteering at their schools or getting really excited about going to their soccer games. Taking pictures of them instead of everyone else's kids. Even little things like being able to sit down and watch one hour of TV without feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt that I COULD be working right that very minute.
I hate it.
And yet, I can't imagine my life without my work, either. It is who I am. I'm that girl who gets excited when she opens an image of a tiny curled up newborn and just KNOWS this is why it is worth it. Still, it is a double-edged sword.
In a few days I leave for San Francisco. And I am stressed to the brink, because it means I'm coming back to four days without getting any work done, in my busiest season of the year. A weekend of shopping and eating and hanging out with my friends - without my children - should be cause for giddy elation, period.
Every year I vow I'll do something different. And then I don't.
(One exciting bit of news to interject: I hired a housecleaner! She starts Monday, so of course I'll spend my non-session time tomorrow doing some pre-cleaning so she doesn't see how we really live.)
I'd post a new picture of the kids, but I don't have any.
Pout. Whine. Complain.
I'm such a delight. Fa la la la la, la freaking la.
ps - Gray's surgery went well! Thanks to everyone who emailed to check in on him. That night, he looked at me during dinner and said "My ears are loud." I swear, it warmed my heart. The next morning I took him to the audiologist and for the first time since BIRTH, he passed a hearing test! One more step in the right direction to getting him the help he needs.
I hate it.
And yet, I can't imagine my life without my work, either. It is who I am. I'm that girl who gets excited when she opens an image of a tiny curled up newborn and just KNOWS this is why it is worth it. Still, it is a double-edged sword.
In a few days I leave for San Francisco. And I am stressed to the brink, because it means I'm coming back to four days without getting any work done, in my busiest season of the year. A weekend of shopping and eating and hanging out with my friends - without my children - should be cause for giddy elation, period.
Every year I vow I'll do something different. And then I don't.
(One exciting bit of news to interject: I hired a housecleaner! She starts Monday, so of course I'll spend my non-session time tomorrow doing some pre-cleaning so she doesn't see how we really live.)
I'd post a new picture of the kids, but I don't have any.
Pout. Whine. Complain.
I'm such a delight. Fa la la la la, la freaking la.
ps - Gray's surgery went well! Thanks to everyone who emailed to check in on him. That night, he looked at me during dinner and said "My ears are loud." I swear, it warmed my heart. The next morning I took him to the audiologist and for the first time since BIRTH, he passed a hearing test! One more step in the right direction to getting him the help he needs.
posted by gretchen at 10/07/2006 09:53:00 PM
3 Comments:
congratulations on a good hearing test!!! ( to you & gray)
go & ENJOY the weekend...you'll come back more yourself & thus more able to be the mother you are and the fabulous creative photographer you were made to be. trust me.... you have to fill the well for yourself before you can quench the thirst of others.
- ethel
I totally knew you'd pre-clean for the cleaners, so I am not going to say anything. I'd do the same thing. But at least have a glass of wine while you are doing it.
There is one place you must go in San Francisco -- Recchuiti Chocolate -- it's in the Ferry Building. This is not chocolate for sissies (or kids.) It's grown up girl chocolate -- the best chocolate I've ever eaten.
xo J
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